Endings that create a new start.

I thought it was written in the stars.

I thought you and I were meant to be, I thought that this was what it all meant…

But perhaps, it was just for me to get closure, to let go…

Once again: What is it even that I see in you?
Nothing.

It’s all the same.

Once again nothing makes sense. No answers seem to be the right ones.

You’re not for me.
You may think I am for you…
But you’re not for me.

I don’t love you.
I don’t even think I care about you to be honest.
You’re just another one, another person that has come into my life, who needs to go again.

Why do I even bother? Why do I put myself through this emotional strain?

Because I am naive, that’s why.

I thought that now would be our time, our time to figure things out, but I guess I was wrong.
No I don’t want a partner yet – but that doesn’t mean we couldn’t figure out now whether or not the thought of you and me would have potential…
You might see it, but I don’t… Not anymore.

You don’t love me, you never did.
You don’t even love yourself, not the least bit.

I might not love myself 100% yet, but I do have love for myself – that I don’t doubt.
I no longer need someone else to fill me, I am way past that… I don’t need others to make me feel like I am good enough.
However, I do need a potential partner to show me that I am all and everything, because I don’t gamble with something as valuable as my heart.
It’s not a game. Love is not a game, it’s not something you play.
Love is something you feel, something genuine, something pure.
Love is so pure it makes everything unclear and blurred, nothing else will be clear or matter more. That’s love.
Love is when everyone don’t matter because your focus is set.
Love is not polygamous it is monogamous.
Love is like a ball of positive energy, love is one.
Love is when your soul craves the touch of the other’s.
Not because its not complete, but because that touch takes you to different heights.
Because two souls can fly higher than one, because double the fuel provides more energy.
You must be one, to become two.

Love is precious,
love is kind.

Love is forgiving,
love is blind.

Love is not judgemental,
love is caring.

Love is not hurtful,
love is bearing.

Within myself I find the love, within myself I find the love for myself.
With you I lose it all, no gains made, but many losses to find.

With you I lose myself.

I wish you could be the man I also wished you were.
I guess that’s just in my mind.

Dear gut feeling,
did you mislead me on purpose?
Or was it the truth at that moment with the alignment of the stars?

Why are you once again testing me like this?
I get it, sometimes everything is not just pure bliss.

I thought my search had come to an end,
I thought I had found my one and only friend.

But now I see, that this is just the start.
For me to move on, we and the illusion had to fall apart.

I guess this means its time to forget and move on,
I guess this means its time for me to write a new song.

you don’t love me like I love me.

How can you be so selfish?

The selfish do not love others, you don’t love me, you just think you do – because it feels good, to you.

Follow your heart they say, I no longer know where my heart is though…
So where should I go?

My mind is telling me, that we won’t be.
My heart is too far from you, to tell me anything…

Everytime I tell myself, ‘I can’t do this’. I’m not willing to fight. I don’t have to fight for what I deserve. I shouldn’t have to ask for what I deserve.
When you love someone, you give them what they deserve.
Love.

You love your mother – you think of how she feels.
You love your father – you worry about his wellbeing.

You don’t love me – you just don’t want someone else to love me.
You don’t want someone else to be the reason why I smile.
You don’t want to be forgotten, and I don’t want to play your game.

I’m not sure I can do this.
Do I expect too much?
Perhaps I just feel too much.
I wear my heart on the tips of my fingers, I feel everything.

I deserve more.
I am special, I am a gift, to myself and this world.
If you can’t love me like I love myself, then you’re not adding to the equation.
I don’t need a love that is less, I need a love that is an addition to my life. I need plus, not minus…

You don’t miss me, you just don’t know how to be by yourself…

Dear Universe, who is this person you won’t take off my path? And why? … Please give me answers, so my heart no longer needs to ache.

 

 

 

I wish.

I wish you loved me like I love the world.
I wish I was that special girl.

I wish I was your one and only.
I wish you didn’t just love me when you’re lonely.

I wish I was the sun that brought you light.
I wish  I was your favorite sight.

I wish I was the last missing piece in your puzzle.
I wish I was your ever beating muscle.

I never wanted just a piece of your heart.
I wanted you to feel deeply when we’re apart.

I wanted you to love me, so deeply no word could ever tell.
I wanted our love to be like an amazing spell.

I wanted us to be that fairytale.
Instead I wound up in my own jail.

Your life wasn’t something I wanted to be in, I wanted to be it.
I wanted to be what water is to fish, what dirt is to trees, what oxygen is to fire and what wind is to kites, to you.

I wanted to be your everything.

Most of all, I wanted you to be my one, my soulmate.
But I guess our fantasy had an expiry date.

 

Dear mother earth.

What I felt so strongly about two weeks ago, is now so distant to me.

I thought I had all the answers, but I don’t… Not yet.

Dear mother earth,
Please rain on me with love and belief.
Please open my eyes to what I don’t see.
Widen my sight and reach.
Empower my senses.
Make me taste the sweetness of honey so intensely that it’ll feel like fire on my tongue.
Let my sense of touch be magnified till the water running down my skin feels like tickles.
Give me hearing so well that a whisper will never be unheard.
Hand me eyesight so clear that darkness wont hide what is present.
Allow my heart to feel so deeply that it will never be unfilled.

it is what you make of it.

Life is what you make it.

Is your life miserable? Are you unhappy?
Here’s the harsh truth: its because you’re not making an effort to make it elsewise.

Sure sometimes we have bad days, sometimes we run low on energy and so on. But in the end, it is what you make of it. Force yourself, don’t give in to the misery. It’ll only make you more miserable.

Is there something you dream of? Then do it!
Don’t wait, tomorrow isn’t promised.

Do it whilst you can, don’t wait it out – there will never be ‘a right time’, the time is now.

Nike were so smart when they branded the slogan ‘Just do it’, but you know what, its one hell of a saying – because it can be applied to everything.

I think that’s how you should live your life.
Want to  travel? JUST DO IT.
Want to tell someone you miss them? JUST DO IT.
Want to workout, but too tired? JUST DO IT.
Are you scared? Face your fear and JUST DO IT.

Hell, there is no better feeling than facing your fears, it empowers you.
Be scared, that’s okay, but don’t let your fears limit you, ever.
The only limits you have in life are the ones you create in your mind, which are most often driven and created by fear.

Don’t be a slave of fear. Be a believer. Be a dreamer, but a dreamer that is a DOER.
Do things, take chances and live life to the fullest.
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What do you dream of the most? And why haven’t you just done it yet?