“Real men don’t…

“Real men don’t cry.”

Real men don’t cry! … or… Do they? 

I’m not sure about whether or not a ‘real’ man cries or not… But we’re all people, it’s normal to cry to express yourself. It’s okay to cry to get your feelings out and then feel better. It’s okay to cry if you’re hurting. Crying is normal, man or woman… 

Now why am I going into all this? Well it was just a thought that stroke my mind…
… My ex boyfriend is a sensitive guy, very sentimental and emotional… He would cry sometimes when he was upset. I thought it was so charming and sweet in the beginning – he wasn’t scared to show his emotions, I liked that. Of course it was okay for him to cry when he was feeling hurt in anyway… I cry too, sometimes.

My issue: It’s not attractive when it happens too often.

Although it’s sweet and all… I can’t run from the fact that, as a strong woman, I want a strong man. I’m not saying that crying means you’re weak, but when you tend to cry easily… That’s just not attractive. Control yourself. Don’t be a robot, but don’t be a crybaby either. 

… He was also such a romantic in a way… Whenever he was to write me a card/letter to go with a gift it would be so … Sentimental and sugary sweet… At first, very sweet. In the long run, barf. 

Some things are acceptable, even adorable, in the beginning of a relationship. The problem is that with time as the ‘feeling in love’-cloud vaporizes then it just becomes less cute and more weird. 

You can’t fly on cloud nine your whole life. You shouldn’t become a cliché. Don’t do what they do in movies. It’s just … Not romantic and it doesn’t feel real. 

The last letter he wrote me, although I’m sure he meant every word, it just made me think: ‘OMFG, is this serious?’

It was so sweet, sugary sweet, sugar overload sweet … Maybe Charlie’s Chocolate Factory sweet … No… Sugar producing factory sweet. You get the idea right?

I’m not attracted to that. I’m not sure why, since most girls/women seem to dream of a guy like that. A guy who isn’t afraid to cry, a guy who walks you all the way home even though the distance is quite far from his home, a guy that writes sweet sentimental letters, a guy that will do anything for you and anything you want, a guy that… Well… To me just isn’t a man anymore. I need someone to be in control sometimes. It should be equal. I don’t like to be the decision maker all the time. I don’t like to be the ‘grown up’ all the time. I don’t like the fact that he has nothing to teach me and I am the only one teaching him things. With time I felt like I had a ‘mother’ role – again … NOT attractive. 

 

So back to the crying… I DO think it’s nice that a guy can express himself and isn’t afraid to cry if it is something that really hurts him. The frequency is just what decides whether or not its cute/okay or just barf and pathetic. 

No one like to be with someone who cries too easily or about everything, man or woman. 

 

What do you think? 

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