I am a big mystery …

Even to myself…

Honestly I don’t even understand myself – so how could anyone else ?

I randomly stumbled across this quote:

“She’s so beautiful
yet so sad

Always saying no one
will ever love her,
and yet when somebody tell her
that they love her she runs and hides

Silly girl,
they love you,
you just dont love yourself.”
– H.s.

I love this … I feel like it’s kinda me … But I wonder… Do I love myself?
Or is it something else?

I don’t hate myself, but sometimes I do wonder … Do I love myself? And how do you know? And what does it mean to love yourself?

I don’t think I’m perfect, there are things about me that I like – and dislike.
So … Where does the loving yourself come in? And how do you love yourself?

Maybe , since I don’t know the answers to these questions, then I don’t love myself?

I honestly have no idea…

I just know that I’m always hot and cold…

I meet so many guys… And they’re all very nice and so on … Yet I have yet not accomplished falling.
I did fall for my ex though – but I won’t lie… It took a while. I was just patient. I was needy for love and safety. So I stuck it out, till I fell in love…

I didn’t fall for his looks, because he really wasn’t that good-looking back then… I feel for what he did for me, how he made me feel…

The new guy that I’m dating, lets call him Luke… Well … He’s nice and everything… And I was kinda hyped on him… But now it’s kinda starting to wear off? Maybe because I’m stressed about my studies? I don’t know…

We’re going to the movies later today …
And out for dinner tomorrow…

I really hope something will change about how I feel right now…
But then again, why?
It’s like I have an obsession with having a guy in my life…
Really I should be thinking, if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work…
But it also has to do with confrontations… I am so bad at those. And rejections… I really don’t know how to do those things… Gosh …

There are some things I need to change about myself…
But lets see, as I always say … Time will tell…

Nothing to stress about.

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