Being in love.

Am I in love?

Honestly I think it’s difficult to say … Although I think I kind of am…
He’s on my mind constantly, I can just cuddle with him all day… Time passes so fast with him… I want to kiss him every 5 minutes… And he makes me smile.

Does my heart go crazy and fucked up and nervous and all that… No I don’t think so… But he puts a smile on my face, and every time we part – I can’t wait for the next time we see each other.

I don’t like to kiss in public. Maybe I’ve mentioned that before… But one thing is doing it outside of the border of where I live – I guess you don’t care too much then, because you’re a ‘stranger’ … But somehow when I’m within the borders, it’s not the same… I don’t like to kiss in public.
I think it’s awkward when people look… Even now. When I notice them looking at least… Anyway… Point being, that I want to kiss him all the time… And it’s like the world fades away… I don’t notice anyone around us… Which I guess is the only reason why I would want to kiss in public..

I don’t know… I feel happy right now.

I can’t tell where this will lead… But I know he’s really excited and happy about everything too…

We didn’t kiss till end of date 3.
He wasn’t even going to. I went for it. I wanted to kiss him.

God… What a pleasant surprise. Soft lips, soft kiss, soft tongue. YES!
No stiff tongue, wet face or anything like that.
Our timing isn’t perfect, but I guess that takes a little time?

But yea… It’s great…
No sex. Till we decide to commit. Which I guess is fine. Will kinda keep me on a leash too… Maybe I need that.
I’m not sure…

I’m not sure at all of what I need or want… To me it’s more like: if it comes my way I’ll know…

All I know right now is that I’ve met a really sweet guy and I really fancy him.

It has only been 2 weeks since we had contact and just 10 days since our first date… Yet it feels like it’s longer. Also weird how he’s made me feel in such a short time.
With this one we didn’t kiss right away and so on … So it wasn’t lust that drove it…

There was no sexual tension or anything – which is important…
Yet I still really wanted to see him. Talk to him. Couldn’t get enough of talking to him…
It feels different to Olly.
Luke is much more mature, we’re more alike… And he’s more in the same lane as me. Where Olly and I really were completely different. From different class, lifestyles and everything really… I don’t know. Comparing it, I don’t feel like it’s the same…

I hope the connection between us only gets stronger and stronger, and doesn’t just crumble and fall apart. Why? I’m not sure. Well yea… Would be nice with a partner.. But besides that…
He’s so sweet… I know he will treat me right. He is so kind and caring in a way I haven’t seen before.
But everything is new… I can only have an opinion about what I’ve seen so far…

And all I can say right now is: so far, so good.


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