You make me happy.

“You make me happy”

he messaged me.

Wow. That warmed my heart. Why? Because honestly he makes me happy too. A lot of people cross my path, a lot of guys… But I’m never really interested.

With this one though, I’m happy. I think I’m content.

I can’t stop kissing his face. Love his smell. Play with his hair. Hold his hand. Hug him.

Am I in love? Like head over heels? No. I won’t lie. I don’t fall that easily. Never have, quite frankly never think I will. But for now I’m happy.

I love spending time with him. He makes me want to be a better version of me. He motivates me to get things done. My room is no longer a mess. Maybe because my mind isn’t longer the same mess it used to be?
I’ve always preferred it tidy, OCD ish… But lately, over the last many months, I haven’t really cared much. I couldn’t find the motivation to get things done.

I feel like I’m slowly getting my shit together.

Now all I need to get together is school… And fitness.
I’ve been injured for the last 2 months… Starting again now, slowly – really slowly! I’m so weak it feels like a beat down. Doesn’t take much for my injury to show itself either when I workout. It crushes me.
But I have hope. I’ll get there. I’ll get back on my feet in terms of that again.

…Back to ‘love’ … For the first time in a long time, I don’t mind getting into a relationship. I feel ready. I feel like I’ve seen enough? … I don’t really feel curious … Before whenever I would talk to a guy, I wouldn’t want to commit – just yet. Because I kept on feeling like there was more to see, more to experience, guys to meet… Something better.

This one. He’s a darling.

What a sweetheart. He’s kind, thoughtful… And he’s not a little bitch. Yea I said it, he feels like a real man.
Even though I get embarrassed, he does what he feels like… Even if I tell him not to… I kind of admire him for that. I get embarrassed. I always think ‘Oh no, what will people think’ ‘Oh no, don’t attract attention’ … But I like how we’re kind of alike and yet so very different. I think that’s what makes it work. We can teach each other things.

… Anyway I got off track there.
My point, he’s so loving… The other day, he came by with a bouquet of flowers… Why? Just because he wanted to, he said.

Yesterday I was at work till night. He messaged me 30 mins before I was off, asking if I was off. I couldn’t answer of course. When the clock hit, I texted him ‘Now I am! So tired.’

He asked if I wanted to come to his place for the night, because he already missed me. Even though he slept over the day before and we had seen each other in the morning.
How cute, I thought.

I didn’t have my things with me, which OCD me doesn’t like, so I told him he could come to my place and next time we’d go to his.

So he did, even though I had to get up really early… We didn’t have much time together… He knew that was the deal, yet he still wanted to come… Just to wake up to my face.

Is this guy even real? He says the most crazy things. He notices small things…
I do that. I usually notice the small things. The small things that matter…
If he’s truly like that, then I think we’ll get along soooo so so so so well!

I think I’m happy.


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