When the X wants a Y

I’ve closed my last chapter, and started my new one. It’s not a new year, it’s the end of one. Yet it’s more than time for a new chapter. I kept going in circles, all this time I wasn’t free… But not long ago I freed myself. I feel relieved and happy.

I’ve moved on. I can truly say that. I’m over my ex. 100%. Even 500% for that sake. I knew I was over him as a partner, but now I know I’m over him as a person  too. What I mean by that is that I don’t feel like I owe him anything anymore. I don’t need him in my life anymore either.

I’m free.

I feel lighter.

I feel happy.

I can’t even explain it, but I’m moving towards better days.

You have to go through darkness to get to the light, and I feel like I have…

Anyway, ‘the X wants the Y’…
I told my ex to move on for good. Because I could feel like he still had hope, too much of it.
Now he wouldn’t accept that.
He said he would take it personal if I was to move on and be in a relationship within the next month or two.
He said he ‘disagreed’
He said that he loves me
He said that, We broke up because I (me) wasn’t interested in having a boyfriend and wanted to find myself.
Which is true. But also meant, I wasn’t interested in having him as a boyfriend. Which he clearly didn’t get.
In his world, it’s almost like we were only on a break. It’s like he thought that as soon as I would be ready to have a boyfriend – that it would be him …
Oh god.
He’s still floating on his little pink sky. Just like when we were together. It’s like he’s in a trance. Like there’s some love spell over him… I don’t know what the deal is.

He said he wanted to talk. He wanted to see me F2F, I said no need. As I don’t feel like there’s more to talk about.
Apparently he wants ‘answers’ … I guess he wants to know ‘why not him’ …
How awkward would that be.

The day after our conversation he decided he wasn’t happy about the outcome, he sent a text. I told him I didn’t have time for this, as I was at work. He sent another (annoying) message and insisted that we have to meet to talk and only then he’d leave me alone. To avoid conflict and the whole situation I replied ‘Okay’.

It’s been a week since that…

Honestly I have no intention of meeting with him.

I won’t make a move till he does.

I don’t owe him anything. It’s ridiculous how he always makes me feel like I do and plays my consciousness. I don’t have to feel guilty. I haven’t done anything wrong.
I don’t have to let it bother me.
So I’ve decided to give it a rest. I’ll just make it clear that it’s done if he contacts me, if not. It is what it is.

That’s just how life is.


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