It’s been a while…

I’ve been really busy since the new year started.
A lot of things have been happening… Good and bad I guess.

Good, well me and Luke are good. It’s going well… He gave me a ring, a promise ring I guess. It’s kind of cute, yet kind of weird too. I dont know… I feel like rings are only for marital purposes, unless they’re big chunky fashionista rings. Like a big beautiful swarovski or like YSL or something like that, you know what I mean? … Anyway… My opinion on it. I feel like it’s a territorial kind of thing. For him to ensure that people know I’m taken… I’m not sure how I feel about that… At the same time I want people to know that I am taken without having to say so – because quite frankly I dont love it when guys hit on me. Why? Because 99.5% of the time I’m not interested… And when I am with someone I am 110% uninterested. So yea my opinion on it is kind of split…

Anyway so far so good. I mean so far we’re doing good. I can’t really foresee how things will be with us… Whether we’ll stick or not… I think we’re quite different, yet we have our similarities. I just think, as long as we treat each other right, then we might make it. I don’t think its based on how similar or different you are. It’s about the balance and about how you treat each other and how you make each other feel. It’s really about acceptance. Do you accept your partner for who and what they are?
Time will tell as I always say – although I would say so far its going really good.

Now to the bad…
Friends. Friends are sometimes the worst. Really… I mean some friends are just your friends because you’ve known them for so long… Not because they actually do shit for you. Really… I have a friend… I’ve known her for about 7 years… We weren’t close for 7 years, but we met around 7-7.5 years ago.
Anyway we started to really become friends around 6 years ago… Which is still quite long… I don’t have many friends – I’ll be honest. I don’t get along too well with most females. They just annoy me. I don’t know… I just hate fakeness, and many females are really fake… People in general are… But the thing with women is that, we just don’t get along too well… Because even before they know me, they dislike me… I don’t mean to sound arrogant or self-absorbed or anything as such – because I’m really not, but I think its because women are jealous of me… Therefor they dont like me, and therefore we don’t really get along. I don’t think women like a genuinely nice female who is not obese or ugly… Nor dumb.
Also a lot of people are just too ‘stupid’ for my liking… I mean I just can’t deal with people that are retarded or really unintelligent… I don’t want to sound like a complete asshole – but it’s the truth. I just don’t have the patience or nerve…
So who do I get along with? Guys.
Issue here is that I get along really well with guys. But I’m still a woman and they’re still men. In the end they always fall for me. Which is bad. Because when single I am not interested… And when I am taken, its inconvenient and inappropriate…

So yea, point being – my circle of friends is limited. I have friends, but not many whom I like to actually hang out with… I have a handfull of friends. But in the end I really only have one friend. One friend that I can always count on. That friend is a guy.
A guy who used to be in love with me, I’m sure he still is, and perhaps may always be.
Because of his religion he can’t have me – thank god. Because I am not interested at all. He’s not my type in that way, so I am glad there are other things that keep us apart on that level … Anyway , this is not what’s ‘important’ here. I went off topic… My friend (girl) whom I’ve been friends with for 6 years…
Oh what kind of drama I’ve had with her. She’s only my friend because I’ve known her for so long. She’s selfish and manipulating. She only cares about her and her needs and she will never take the blame for her mistakes.
I’ve given this girl so many chances, so much time and energy… I’ve given her a lot. All I’ve ever gotten back is shit…
I know , why not just cut her off? I don’t know … I mean I don’t need her in my life, but sometimes its nice to have someone to hang out with… Thats it…
But I’m done, I’m done being her friend. Im sick and tired of her. I don’t need someone who doesn’t appreciate the things I do for them…
She’s a complete ass. Haven’t talked to her for 2 weeks or so… I’m done.
And when Im done, Im done. If she wants to hang out or anything, she can contact me. I don’t need her…

I don’t need negative energy in my life… I just want to be in peace and happy. I feel like she always needs to be a dick. I think she’s someone that doesn’t wish to see me happy… I wish to see her happy, but Im not sure she feels like that on my behalf…

Anyway , I just needed to rant a little…

*Rant done*

My goals are to not have people get me down. Especially people that don’t deserve my time or friendship. Especially someone that hasn’t brought anything positive to my life. I won’t let people bring me down. Thats something that I will work on. I dont want to let people have influence on my mood and life.

No one but I , should have influence on my mood.
I seek happiness, I will try my best to make it happen, no one who’s not important is going to stand in the way of that…

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