If you only knew…



Honestly, I don’t know why so many weird things are happening…
Let’s take it from an end.

I went out Saturday, we ended up at a cocktail bar place where Matt was… Yes Matt. For those of you who don’t know, Matt was my number 2 – when it comes to sex.
And the whole experience and situation with him was quite unpleasant, but I ignored it and pretended nothing ever happened. Also because we work at the same place, so I didn’t want it to be awkward as well as I didn’t want anyone to know.

So whatever, the girl that I was with has a pretty shitty day. She just found out that her BF has been a complete jerk in the last past years where they’ve been together as well. Its a complicated relationship, but long story short he’s been lying and cheating. So she was badly hurt and broke it off with him… To top it off, she found out that her other ex was sleeping with her very good friend. While he was still with her or not is unclear. Either way, you don’t touch your friends boyfriend or exboyfriend – no matter what he was at the time they were having an affair… Pretty sick day for her.
She felt let down and as a laughingstock and her day was pretty shit.

Now, she thinks that Matt is extremely hot. And she wanted to ‘do him’ as she said.

Matt has a girlfriend, still.

Blah blah, after the cocktail bar we went to her place for champagne and talking…
She began to say a lot of indirect things, but it didn’t take much to figure that she wanted him to bang him.
By then I was like, jesus I have to leave now… It was getting really uncomfortable…
So I did, and I knew what was going to happen next… I wanted to stop it, but they’re two adults, so nothing to do.
She said earlier, when she was talking about wanting to bang him, that she wouldn’t out of respect to his girlfriend. But what happened? hah.
People are selfish, and they don’t give a fuck about anyone else.
So that was PART of my weird weekend…

Now what else could I have possibly have experienced?
It’s actually only been 2 weeks since I broke up with Luke, although it feels like it was longer.
I feel sorry for him.
Last time I heard from him was the friday of that week we broke up… He told me to have a great weekend bla bla.

Okay, so… He messaged me Saturday (yes I had a bizarre Saturday), asking me how I was.

I was out for dinner at the time, so I couldn’t be bothered to answer him.

25 minutes later…

Second message comes in, where he says, okay it is what it is, I hope you’re doing well. I’ll leave you alone then.

25 minutes isn’t long, really. It’s like he’s been counting seconds.

Now in the morning, maybe about 9 hrs later, I thought I’d message him back.
It was because, after the second message, I didn’t really know what to reply to him… It was a little weird.
Anyway I decided not to be silent.

Maybe my message wasn’t the sweetest, but either way, I was kinda amused by the fact that he sent not one but 2 messages. If I were him I wouldn’t have sent the second one.
Because it was as if he was having a conversation with himself, maybe if I hadn’t answered him for many hrs, then I would understand why the second message would be sent.
Anyway, I told him, funny how you’re having a conversation with yourself… im good, how about you?

And he didn’t answer me.
But I knew he was awake and had seen it, because my colleagues told me he was at my workplace. He probably wasn’t there solely for me. But when he extended his stay to 3 hours, then I would imagine it was because he was hoping to ‘bump’ into me. I guess he didn’t know, I wouldn’t be in until 1 hour after the time he left… Really weird.

So he still didn’t message me yesterday.
Until now, this morning he wrote: good morning, nice to hear (that I am well). Everything is good here too, thank you.

Then he wrote: the good times, and sent me an old picture of me as well as an old screenshot of a conversation.

Then he wrote even better, and sent me a picture from the very beginning of our relationship.

A few minutes after that he wrote:
I don’t understand why you FIRST left me, THEN the day after explain to me it wasn’t all my fault… Why…

I haven’t answered him, dont know if I will… Dont know if I should.
We’ll see, for now at least – I won’t.

I think it’s kind of weird how he’s obviously (conclusion is based on other things as well) ‘suffering’. He’s obviously thinking a lot about me and us.
And he hasn’t moved on a bit…

Then there’s me.

It’s kind of weird…


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