“I’m good enough.”
“Yes. Yes I am”, she said with doubt in her voice.
Desperately shuffling through instagram.
“Oh look at this girl. Omg she’s so pretty. Gosh.”
She looks in the mirror and thinks to herself: “If only my nose was smaller, if only I weighed a little less… I wish my ass was fuller. Urgh, why cant my hair be big and luscious like those girls with perfect hair…”
Starring at her reflection with critical eyes, repulsed by what she sees. So obsessed with the thought of being flawless, she fails to see that she is a natural beauty herself.
“I’m totally good enough.”
“Look at you handsome! Damn!” He said trying to convince himself that these complements were truthful.
He looks in the mirror and flexes his muscles, “I wish my biceps were bigger, I wish my chest was more cut… I wish I looked more like those professional bodybuilders.”
He desperately goes on his instagram, “I’m good, I’m good. Look! Look at all those girls liking, commenting and following you man, you’re the shit. See, they think you’re sexy as hell. The girls want you man, you’re more than good enough.”
He looks back in the mirror and thinks “…but if only…”
Desperately hurt by their own thoughts and insecurities they cling on to their phones.
Snap, snap, snap… Wait, another one, snap.
“Hmm… Filter or no filter?”
Maybe if I put this picture up that guy, whose attention I want so bad, might notice it. She uploads a selfie. “What should I caption this? It needs to seem like I’m cool, I love myself and I’m unbothered… Hmm…” She writes, then deletes, then writes, and deletes. “Okay I got it, ‘Feeling grateful’… Or… ‘Unbothered’ … No wait, that will make it seem as if I am bothered… He’ll know, he’ll definitely know…” She thinks and thinks, “Strawberry kisses. Yes. It doesn’t mean anything and its random, but I’m throwing a kissy face selfie, so yea… My kisses taste like strawberries, because they’re sweet! Yes, thats good.” *Upload*
She sits glued to her screen. *Refresh* 1 minute passes, *refresh*. She waits… She watches… “Who’s liking my picture? Who’s commenting? Urgh! I wonder if he’s seen it… Wonder if he’ll like it when he does see it.” *Refresh* “Okay I’m going to check what people I am following are liking…” *Scrolls* “Wait what, thats him! Oh my god, he’s liking girls pictures… Who’s this girl… Gosh… Is she prettier than me? What does she have that I don’t have? … Why isn’t he liking MY picture? … Fuck… I’m not good enough… I knew it… Maybe I should delete it… I can’t look at this anymore, going back to my own profile.” *Refresh feed* “Aww cute cat… DAMN what a hot bod… Wait… That’s him, he just uploaded this… Why hasn’t he liked my picture? Fuck it, I’m not gonna like his picture either…” *Keeps on scrolling* “Fuck…” *Goes back to guy’s photo* “Let me see who has liked his pictures… Oh gosh it that girl whose picture he liked, I wonder if they talk… Maybe they’re really into each other. Shit, she just commented… Oh my god. Okay he definitely likes her and she likes him, and he’s totally talking with her, why else would she comment on his picture like that. Fuck it, maybe I should unfollow him?” *Refreshes likes on own picture* “Wait, what? He liked my picture??? What the hell… Oh, I knew it, he still thinks I’m hot, because why the hell not – I totally am! I mean, look at me. I guess I can like his back too then… But I gotta wait at least five minutes first.”
He scrolls through his ‘discover page’ pictures of pretty girls come up. *Like, like, like* “Better like these girls’ pictures to see if they like me back, oh wait I should upload that sixpack picture I took before.” *Uploads picture*
“Oh dope! That hot girl liked my picture back! And commented… She thinks I’m hot!” *Looks in mirror* “Well… I am quite handsome, what can I say. Oh she followed me too! Hmm I should follow her back…” *Follows* *Goes to feed and refreshes*
“Oh it’s that girl… She’s cute and natural… I like that.” *Likes her picture* “She uploaded that not long ago, maybe she’ll see my picture too… I hope she likes it. Too bad she doesn’t talk much, I guess she’s not really interested… Maybe she has a boyfriend or something… Or… Does she not think I’m hot?” *Scrolls, likes, scrolls* Ten minutes passes whilst he’s looking through instagram, looking at other guys – comparing himself. *Refreshes likes* “OH! She liked my picture! I guess she does think I’m pretty hot… Cool.”
And so they proceed their games and lies, whilst none of the two know that they have a good eye for one another… None of them know how the other person feels or what they think.
They both suffer in silence, whilst putting up a facade.
She uploads pictures of her body, selfies, social activities and so on – she wants people to think that she’s so confident about herself… She loves herself, people love her – she has friends! Her life is so awesome…
Whilst in reality its nothing but…
He does the same, pretending he’s heartless, a player, that he got his game right… That he has money to buy awesome clothes and shoes and so on. He pretends like he has a lot of self confidence and that his selection of dream girls is endless… Whilst in reality he seeks something else deep down – but he ignores this feeling, because he doesn’t have feeling… Or so he tries to convince himself.