1000 thoughts, no words.

I have a 1000 thoughts, but no words for them.

I have an equal amount of dreams perhaps, but no structure.

Everything in my mind is a mess at the moment.

I’m questioning everything, what I am doing, what I want to do, the people I have surrounded myself with… Every move and step I take.

Am I doing the right thing?

Will I be here tomorrow?
Will I have regrets?

What is love?
Will I ever know what it is?

What is a soulmate?
Where is my soulmate?
Will I ever meet him?
Have I met him?
If so, will I ever really see him, feel him, know that its him?

Love.
The one thing all humans long for, crave, obsess about…
Is it a phenomenon from heaven or hell?

A year ago, a year ago we were sitting together. Now, now we’re sitting together. Never did I expect that I would be here with you today, a few months ago we didn’t talk. You didn’t exist.
Truth be told you were in my mind every single day.
Even though I tried to deny you access to my mind, it was just impossible, all sorts of things would remind me of you…
However this day today, I still question how good, healthy and useful it is for me to have you in my life?

I’m tired of having people in my life that have impact on my mood… I don’t want to have my day or feelings be controlled by what someone else says or does… Unfortunately, that is the case. I hate it… I know in the end, it has something to do with myself, not you. But… That’s what the case is, so, what to do? I think about that every day… Contemplate, I go to and fro, I just don’t know… You make me feel so mellow.

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