I don’t know how I feel.
I don’t know if my thoughts are real.
All I know is that I was indifferent,
but now it’s like things are different.
Maybe I like you, maybe I don’t.
To be honest, I don’t really know.
If I had the opportunity of choosing,
I would be moving.
I would cross seas and live far away,
and the memories of us would decay.
I think you’re nice and kind,
but I don’t know if I’d ever call you mine.
I want a life far from here,
somewhere that isn’t anywhere near.
Maybe I’m running away,
either way, I just don’t want to stay.
Do you feel the way I do?
Do you think about me too?
Are you confused or are you clear?
Are you driven by love or by fear?
Do you want more or do you want less?
Do you show to tell or is it to impress?
I can’t figure anything out.
All I know, is that I’m full of doubt.
I don’t trust strangers with my heart.
I did it once and it was torn apart.
Who are you and what’s your deal?
What do you want from me, what do you feel?
I wonder if true love is even real.
If it is, could it make my heart heal?
My heart isn’t broken, it’s just dead.
It drowned in all the tears I shed.
The past is the past and we’ll leave it there.
But I’ll still wonder about the present, and if you care.
Do you lust me or is it more?
Have you ever done anything like this before?
You are a stranger, yet you’ve touched my lips.
A stranger, who has caressed my hips.
I don’t know who you are, or what you want.
I don’t know if I want to know, cause we may not bond.
You are a stranger and I have no feels,
I put on my clothes and start the wheels.
Lost in the space of the pause,
it’s the face of the cause
that’s got my mind in a state of loss.
I keep repeating words to myself,
drowning my mind as I dwell.
Trying to change by tomorrow,
like time is something I can borrow.
I forgot and I forget, the purpose of it all.
It’s like I rise just to fall, with no plan at all.
What am I even doing with my time and breath,
nothing I do will take me further from my death.
Death is the only thing that’s for certain,
so make sure to live a life without burden.
I tell myself this every day,
yet taking words and making them reality,
seems to be impossible for me.
I keep hanging in there, watching time pass.
I no longer know who, what or where,
I’m just living in a flash.
Stress & anxiety.
It’s a normality in our society.
Sweat & tears.
As we die at the feet of our fears.
Sorrow & grief.
Leave no space for relief.
Sweet & sour.
Like this life we devour.
I close my eyes, it’s pitch black.
My imagination is gone, but will it be back?
I used to see colors and light,
and now all I’m left with is a lost fight.
This is the price you pay,
when you live life without play.
Nothing is a given,
not even the life you’re livin’.
I’ve lost my light,
for a future I thought was bright.
What is the purpose of it all,
if all I do is fall?
Perhaps I made the wrong call?
My heart beats faster every time you are near.
You make my mind race, I can’t think clear.
I feel uneasy in my body, in my skin.
It’s like getting suffocated by a twirl of wind.
You can’t see it, but it’s there.
You can only feel it, just like air.
It’s like a heavy burden on my heart,
an ache so strong it feels like I am falling apart.
Thoughts race in my head so fast, I can’t single them out.
I can’t tell if they’re mine or what they’re about.
I feel like a prisoner in my own head,
am I still here or am I dead?
The days pass like there’s no yesterday,
‘time waits for no man’ it just ticks away.
I am grateful, I am blessed, I get to see the time tick,
I am aware that it can all be gone in just one click.
Life is a mystery, life is a gift, life is whatever you choose for it,
yet I let my life pass me like a hypocrite.
Each day the same as yesterday, I forgot what day it is today.
All days look the same, no one else but myself to blame.
I call life a gift and say time isn’t given,
yet my words do not reflect my way of living.