Put it out to the Universe.

Take a thought.
Pray for it.
Believe it.
Visualize it.
Throw it out to the Universe.

Dear Universe,
I’ve taken some numbers, thrown them out to you.
Please make these numbers be my luck for today.
Let these numbers change my life towards wealth.
Let these numbers help me change the life of the people around me.
I believe my time has come.
I believe it is now.
Tonight I will get a thrilling feeling that I’ve never experienced before.
A disbelief.
I am grateful for all I have.
I am grateful for who I am.
I am grateful for the lovely people in my life.
I am grateful for being alive.
Please help me pass this onto others.
I believe it will happen today.
Today is the day.
Today it that day.

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Went on a date…

I went on a date yesterday… First date in a long time. First many things.
First date since I became single. First date I’ve messaged so much with before meeting. First date I’ve felt like our minds are a match…

It’s weird. I’m not over the moon, I’m not all crazy like ‘ah he’s the one’. But I do feel that we’re connected. I feel like there’s definitely a reason why we’ve met and a reason why now. And it’s funny how everything and nothing makes sense.
It’s just crazy when the puzzle fits in a strange way. Perhaps it’s just me who’s overthinking it… I’m not sure?

I mean I guess we’ll see how it goes from here and what’s going to happen…

I think he’s kinda cute and I feel like we connect on different levels, but whether or not we’re soulmates or such – I can’t quite tell, not yet.

I just know that I don’t wanna repeat my mistakes, so I’m going to be critical and I’m going to listen to my gut. I have to, because it’s never been wrong.

So many things are happening… So overwhelming. But I accept it, I accept it all. It’s for me to have and for me to deal with, and so I will. I’ll deal with it as best as I can and know how to…

One step at a time, one day at a time.

Everything happens for a reason.

What do I feel?

I feel everything and nothing.

That’s what I feel.

That’s how I feel.

I feel like everyone and no one.

I feel surrounded with love.

I feel alone.

I feel every end of all spectrums.

I feel happy.

I feel sad.

I feel like life makes sense and yet no sense at all.

But most importantly, I feel.

Life is beautiful when you feel,
even if what you feel is hurt.

Feeling means you’re alive.
I’m alive, not just living.

I am present.
Me.
I am here.
Right now.
Right this moment.

 

Speak it into existence.

About 3 months ago I was praying so hard for this job that I applied for – the ‘dream job’, I made an application that was out of the ordinary, I even made something especially for them. Some video content. Did they like it? Hate it? I have no idea, because they never saw it. I just got a standard reply… At the same time there was an apartment I really liked, gosh it was way over budget… And turned out to be a bad investment, so I had to turn it down. But I was praying so hard that I would get that job and that apartment, how awesome would that be? To get a job and a place all at the same time?! Gosh!

… And it didn’t happen. I didn’t get the job, they never even went through my application… And I had to say no to the apartment, even with a yes, it wouldn’t have necessarily have been mine anyway, as we were 5 potential buyers…

3 months forward and I got an apartment! An even better one – economically. Just need to sign the papers in 2 days and it will be final! What else? I got to go to interview number 2, and I am 1 of 2 candidates. I reeeeally want this job, I really want it. And how amazing would it be if I got it? Just imagine, the dream I had 3 months ago would come true. But with a different job and a different apartment. But the wish and goal of getting an apartment and a job would be complete.

I’m trying so hard to speak it into existence and I’m praying so hard that I’ll get that call tomorrow and it will be good news for me. I’m praying so hard that they will say, ‘We would love for you to join the team, can you come in on Monday?’. YES, yes I can.

How amazing would that be? Pretty amazing, but even if it doesn’t happen, I know it’s because there is something else out there for me. Because time after time, the Universe has showed me this. I trust in you Universe, I believe that whatever happens is for a reason and what is mine will be. This job, this job is for me, it’s mine. It’s for me to have and for me to grow. This will be my stepping stone. It will.
That lady will call me tomorrow and she will tell me that I am hired! I am the best candidate for the job, I am amazing and I am great. I am willing to work and I hope she could see that. I hope that she could see that I really wanted this and that I will give my all. I fit into that place, that place is perfect for me. It is the perfect environment for me, I fit in so so well. I will get hired tomorrow. Tomorrow great news awaits me. I believe it.

5 years on the blog

It’s been 5 years since I started this blog… It’s really intersting, funny and embarrassing to read some of the things I’ve written, done, felt etc.
I’ve come such a long way and grown so much since December 2013.

It’s crazy how time flies, how everyone’s lives take different paths and tours. Life is interesting…

5 years ago I was breaking up with my first boyfriend, whom I had been with for 3.5 years. Today I have a new boyfriend, boyfriend number 4… And he’s amazing.
So many other things have changed since then too…

I couldn’t have ever imagined this is where I’d be, that my life would’ve looked like this and that I would’ve experienced and grown as much as I have.

December is always an intersting time of the year. It’s my birth month, it’s holiday period and the last month of the year.

I’m not sure.

I’m not sure where to go for answers… Where to find them. How to find them.
I’m not sure how I should take the leap of faith.
I’m not sure on what I should take the leap…

I feel so confused.
I feel lost.
I feel like I’m not doing enough.
I feel like there are certain things I should’ve achieved by now.
I feel like I’m too old to be where I’m at right now.

And I’m hard on myself. I know…
But what am I doing with my time?
How am I moving forward or towards where I want to be?
I’m not.
I’m wasting time.
I’m spending my time on others.
And quite frankly, it doesn’t feel good.

I really wanna get away.
Somewhere. Anywhere.
I feel like I need some peace of mind.
I feel like there’s something inside me that needs to be unleashed.

I’m blessed.
I’m grateful.
But I’m confused…
I’m so confused.

Should I pray?

Dear Universe,

should I pray? Or should I visualize and pretend that what I want is already my reality?

I’m not sure. I’m afraid to hope, because I’m afraid to disappoint myself.

I don’t want to hope. I want to believe.

So I guess that’s what I’ll do… Believe.

 

Dear Universe,

Instead of praying, I will thank you.

I will thank you for the blessings that I know will come my way.

Thank you.

Thank you for making it possible for me to land that job.

Thank you for making it possible for me to get that apartment.

Thank you for helping me move on with my life.

Thank you.
__________________

Repetition, visualization and belief. – An exercise

That job is mine. That job is mine. That job is mine.
They will call for an interview.
They will love me after the interview.
I will be hired.
That job is mine.
That job is mine.
I am the person that will get hired for that job.
That job is mine.

That apartment is mine. That apartment is mine. That apartment is mine.
They will contact me to sign the papers.
My name will be on the door soon.
That apartment will belong to me.
The apartment is mine. The apartment is mine.
I am the person who will live in the apartment.

That job and apartment are both mine.
They are for me. They are mine.